Jessicarrot

I caught a segment of The Today show the other day where this woman was talking about Alpha-moms. Her comment was so perfect, she said Alpha moms are the ones who plan the parties and execute all creative control on a project. The Beta moms might get asked to bring paper towels and garbage bags, but Alpha moms will bring some anyway because she doesn’t trust that anyone else can do anything right. It was so perfect. Having a child in school for the first time, I’m coming in contact with more and more Alpha moms. I was out running errands last week and realized it was a full hour until I had to pick up Asher but I had no where else to go and two sacked out kids. So I decided I’d just get in the car line to pick up Asher a full hour early. The kids can easily sleep for an hour while I wait and I had some magazines and a cell phone if I was bored. I was sure I would be the first one. Not so. I was the second. Within minutes there were about 10 cars jockeying for a good spot. I had to just roll my eyes when this huge suv passed everyone else already waiting in line to park in front of the first car in line. Then it happened again, a van pulled in front of the suv making a new first position. Usually I just park the van and drag all the kids to pick up Asher on foot. Waiting in the car line seems like a waste of fuel. If you don’t show up an hour before school lets out you end up idling in line for 20 minutes. But I’ve been there early enough a couple times and its always the same cars parked there ridiculously early. Another appalling display was at a kids party I went to with Asher. The party was put on by a sweet family who are new to the area. I stayed because I’m such an overprotective mom, there is no way I’m going to drop my kid off with people I don’t know. One other mom stayed as well. She was the quintessential Alpha mom. The family hosting had just moved from Massachusetts and the mom was saying how up north her son was only in 1/2 day Kindergarten and they had no homework and weren’t even beginning to read. So it was a rude awakening for the poor kid when he moved here. He had a hard adjustment going full day with an hour of homework afterward, and they got one of the infamous letters about having him held back. I was very sympathetic, but my sentiments were muffled by Alpha mom’s excitement. “Oh, that is great! That means that our schools are better than the ones in Massachusetts! I think its wonderful that they are actually DOING things in Kindergarten.” Alpha mom then went on to instruct us on how to get our children to complete their homework, what books she used to get her son reading before Kindergarten, and how many sports her son was involved in. What really broke my heart was her excitement over the summer camp programs she got her son into. Seven full weeks of 8am-5pm summer camp. “You’d better go down there first thing Monday if you want to get a spot. They are only taking 34 children.” Sigh. I don’t doubt her kid is very bright and very well behaved. He certainly has anything he could want in their 4000 square foot house that is apparently too small. But I wonder if he’s got enough emotionally. Asher was student of the week last week and all the children wrote sentences on what they liked about him. Alpha mom’s son wrote, “I like Asher. I took Asher to go to [lazertag]. I love you. This is [name].” In the picture he drew he and Asher are holding hands. It might be a stretch to psychoanalyze a Kindergartners writing sample, but it stood out against the rest emotionally. It was sweet. I guess it isn’t really my place to judge anyone’s parenting. Alpha mom is doing lots of things right to end up with such a sweet little boy. I just don’t relate to the need to push my child into every possible activity. Or the desire to have some facility spend summer vacation with my child. And I guess I’m okay with only bringing garbage bags and paper towels too. Even if they are just the extras.